


Be Still My Foolish Heart, Don't Ruin This On Me

by Velocity_Owl87



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Happy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Don't copy to another site, Established Relationship, Inspired by Music, Introspection, Jinnobi Challenge 2019, Memories, Morning Routines, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Short & Sweet, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-02 23:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21169310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velocity_Owl87/pseuds/Velocity_Owl87
Summary: A song pulls Quinn back to specific time and place, making him recall, then discard the past in favour of his present and lover, Ben.





	Be Still My Foolish Heart, Don't Ruin This On Me

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to Almost (Sweet Music) and the idea of songs prompting past memories hit me and I had to write this short story. And I like making coffee in the morning, so that's why it ended up being like this.

Quinn was standing at the counter in front of the coffee maker, carefully measuring out the coffee into the flimsy paper filter for the morning’s brew when he heard Ben leaving the bathroom. The sun was just starting to come up, brightening the kitchen space and making Quinn feel relaxed and happy. Even more so when he saw Ben enter the kitchen and make a beeline towards Quinn.

He kissed Quinn with a sleepy peck as he moved past him towards the bluetooth speaker that looked like an old fashioned radio and set it up to play something, anything so that he could wake up. He wasn’t as much of a morning person as his lover, so Quinn had learned to tune out the sounds as he made coffee and breakfast for the both of them. 

“You’re not using the Keurig?” Ben asked as he scrolled through his playlists, looking for the first song to break the morning stillness. 

Quinn only looked at him skeptically as he measured the third heaping tablespoon of coffee like his mother and aunt taught him to do when he started drinking coffee. Ben only shrugged and continued to fiddle with his playlists. 

Yes, they had one of those fancy coffee machines that one of Ben’s sisters had given them a couple of years back, but Quinn was old fashioned. He liked the old drip coffee makers and he liked the fresh scent of the Guatemalan Roast he bought once a month in the local Farmer’s Market. 

It was one of those things that Ben didn’t get. The Keurig was much more convenient and to him, coffee was coffee. As a tea drinker, he didn’t get the nuance of coffee made in a machine and coffee made in a coffee maker. Other than no pods to recycle, as Quinn had brought up as a defence of keeping the old coffee maker. 

Quinn measured out the fourth last spoonful, checked the water level again, checked the water spout was in the right position and plugged it in, starting it. In less than a minute, the coffee started to brew, filling the room with the heady scent of freshly made coffee. 

He stood there, leaning against the counter, watching idly as Ben finally started the music. 

The strains of a guitar and clapping filled their flat, then the familiar sound of _ the _ singer’s voice started. It wasn’t anything like the last time he had heard him singing and who he had been with. 

He swallowed hard as he listened to the song, glad for the counter supporting him. Or else he would have already collapsed as the memories hit him. 

Of Tahlia’s cheery orange apartment, decorated in vintage furniture and drapes from Thailand and India, the low lit lamps and the throngs of people. Even then, she could command a crowd around her. The good wine and the record player playing similar music as the night slipped by. 

Quinn recalled the bitter taste of wine. The scent of pot and Nag Champa incense in the air, the coldness of the winter night and the way that his breath blew out in white puffs of smoke as he stood on the balcony. He had glanced back at her, watching her laugh at some joke or other, her braids swinging as he laughed. 

Their eyes met then, locking onto each other. Blue and hazel gold. Her mouth had curled up into a sardonic smirk made much more pronounced by that dark lipstick she had taken to wearing. He didn’t like it and had said so. It made her look too cruel. 

The moment was broken by some blond boy in a blue blazer and grey hat getting into her space and asking her something that made her laugh. Even across the room, he could hear her laughter. Crystal, icy, and something altogether unpleasant. 

He recalled turning back to the dark night sky, watching the stars wink in and out and knowing all too well that this was the end. 

He shook his head clear of those memories, feeling cold and regretting that he had lost himself in memories that he thought he had packed away long ago. 

He hugged himself and rubbed his arms to dispel the chill that had swept over him.

It wasn’t the same song. Similar, but different and he had been swept away with it, but the line about a foolish heart made him come back and not lose himself into the melancholy of past memories. 

“Quinn?” Ben asked stepping into Quinn’s space and looking up at him, his rainwater grey eyes worried as he looked up at his lover. His hair still a copper tinged mess framing a still youthful face. 

Quinn exhaled, reaching over and cupping Ben’s cheek with his hand, at a loss to explain what he had experienced and what the song had done to him. 

Just like the song said, he wouldn’t even begin to know where to start to explain. Ben didn’t know about Tahlia. Or what she was like. Quinn didn’t like to talk about that time, having decided to not dwell on it and focus on the present. And on Ben. 

Yet the song had brought it up and then transmuted it into something else in the span of a few minutes as he waited for coffee to brew. Ben was there, and there was nothing hidden in the depths of Ben’s soft and concerned gaze.

“Nothing important, really. Just reminders. I haven’t heard Hozier in a long time and the song brought it back, but it’s gone now. Just took me by surprise, that’s all. ”

Quinn murmured as he pulled Ben into a kiss that lasted until the last strains of Hozier’s voice faded away, pleading for his heart to not screw up. It left him with a taste of mint and the scent of Ben’s cedar cologne in his nose. 

“So not important then?” Ben asked softly as he moved to grab coffee mugs and cream. 

Quinn smiled, moving to get bread and butter and eggs. 

“No. Not important like being here, in this moment with you. No.” Quinn replied, smiling tenderly at Ben, who blushed at that.

He reached over and turned off the coffee maker and pulled out the pot. 

“Coffee?”

Ben nodded. “Of course.”

END


End file.
